The French Solve “Nagging Spouse” Problem

Got a nagging spouse? Want him/her to stop? If you live in France, you’re in luck.

It appears that spouses who resort to verbal or psychological abuse could be criminally prosecuted under a new French law. → source

Perfect!

Next time my wife nags me about putting the toilet seat down, I’ll remind her that she’s technically a criminal – in France.

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By the way, I have a suggestion for men whose wives nag them about putting the toilet seat down. Offer one of these two compromises:

1. Both of you will have to put the lid down after use. This way, no one has an advantage.
2. Suggest that law of averages dictates that each use of the toilet will be by a different person. Therefore, men will have to put the toilet seat down so that it’s ready for ladies. Women will have to put the toilet seat up so that it’s ready for guys.

Yes, that’s the kind of gift I bring into my marriage!

Haiti’s Earthquake – The Conspiracy Continues . . .

On January 23, I posted a conspiracy theory about Haiti’s earthquake. I received some comments, lots of personal emails and a whole lot of face-to-face conversations about it.

At this point, having nothing to lose since everyone thinks I’m already crazy, I’ll just keep going with those conspiracy theories. Here’s the latest:

Israel’s Earthquake Machine

So, you still believe earthquake machines couldn’t possibly exist? Here’s more proof from our BFF in the Middle East. Even Israel is getting in on the game, and they are publicly admitting it according to Israel National News. → source

Cloaked as “part of a scientific project intended to improve seismological and acoustic readings in Israel”, this earthquake machine is capable of creating “an earthquake of Magnitude 3″. Can we not extrapolate from there and assume that the US could posses a better, more powerful version of this toy?

Unlikely Allies

Still not satisfied? Here’s another crazy theory. Countless charities and foundations are now taking your donations for Haiti. One of those happens to be the ‘Clinton Bush Foundation’. Seriously? When did these two Presidents get together and create a foundation? They have nothing in common. Don’t try to convince yourself that, irrespective of their differing philosophies, they have joined forces for a worthy cause. That makes a nice Disney story, but it should scream conspiracy.

But wait, it gets better! Go to ‘Clinton Bush Foundation’ website: https://re.clintonbushhaitifund.org. Stop! Check out the SSL encryption certificate on this site. It’s from Equifax. EQUIFAX! The company that tracks your credit reports. Coincidence? Yeah, go ahead. I dare you to use this site to donate money.

Donate your money to Doctors Without Borders.

And Now The Case Against Airport Body Scanners

Damn the underwear bomber!

First, he ruins airport security lines. And I love how the government refers to them as ‘check points’. Yup, we are now officially slaves. The old Soviet Union had check points. Iraq and Afghanistan have check points. Go to TSA’s website, and you’ll see the word ‘check point’ all over their pages. And while I’m on my rant, why the hell is it that http://tsa.gov doesn’t work? You actually have to include the www. Could they not fix their DNS record?

But most importantly, he has ruined our culinary experiences. According to the Wall Street Journal, the increased use of body scanners at airports has resulted in an alarming discovery. It turns out that many chefs smuggle quality salami, prosciutto and headcheese in their pants as they travel from Europe to the US. → source

Yum!

I think I’ll have a prosciutto and brie sandwich for lunch tomorrow. Email or comment if you want to join me.

One last side-note. Have you noticed that recent pictures of terrorists resemble those prepared for Social Networking sites? They all have new-age poses and slight sideway alignment. When did that trend start?

Haiti – The Tragedy & The Conspiracy Theory

I was looking around Fox News’ website the other day when I noticed an interesting article: Hugo Chavez Mouthpiece Says U.S. Hit Haiti With ‘Earthquake Weapon’ → source

I’m the first to admit Chavez is crazy, but I’ve always felt crazy people view the world from different lenses. And different does not necessarily equate to false. Remember in the movie Men in Black when they checked the ‘hot sheets’ (tabloid)? That kind of ‘different’!

So I looked around. Here’s what I found. You’ll like this.

The Earthquake Machine

In a Department of Defense (DoD) briefing on Monday, April 28, 1997, the then Secretary of Defense William S. Cohen said:

. . . some countries . . . are designing some sort of engineering, some sort of insects that can destroy specific crops. Others are engaging even in an eco- type of terrorism whereby they can alter the climate, set off earthquakes, volcanoes remotely through the use of electromagnetic waves.

Yes, earthquakes! Don’t bother looking for that information on DoD’s website. It’s not there. You’ll find it on web archive site → here.

It’s not too far-fetched to think that governments, including our own, are working on top-secret and unthinkable weapons that we, normal people, don’t consider within the realm of possibilities. Don’t assume something is impossible just because you think it is.

The Plan

OK, so what if we possess an earth-quake weapon? Where’s the proof we might have used it? Consider this. One day before the earthquake, US Southern Command (SOUTHCOM) in Miami was testing an emergency response system. The scenario? Providing relief to Haiti in the wake of a fictional hurricane. After the earthquake hit on Tuesday, SOUTHCOM decided to go live with the system immediately. How convenient! Check it out for yourself here.

The Reason

So, let’s review. It’s possible that we possess an earthquake machine and it’s also possible that we deployed it in Haiti. The question is why. Well, oil – possibly. Google oil in Haiti, and you’ll find many sources suggesting the possibility.

The Proof

According to bloggers monitoring flightaware.com (a site that records tail number of airplanes landing at most airports), at least one of the planes landing in Port-au-Prince since the earthquake has the following registration: N419AR  → source.  Who owns this plane? Mar-Don, Inc. What kind of company is that? An oil reclamation service → source

One more thing.  Somehow, much of our relief efforts for Haiti has ‘reform’ connotation attached to them. Here’s one example from a CNN headline: “Ex-envoy: Earthquake gives opportunity to reform Haiti”. Why reform? Why now? And that brings us back to oil.

Even Ron Paul said the following about the Haitian relief efforts: “There’s been a coup – have you heard?” → source

My heart goes out to those affected by this earthquake – whatever the cause may have been: God, tectonic plate geology, or earthquake machine.