This blog is dedicated to logical Reasoning, political consciousness, religious dialogue, intelligent thoughts, uncommon wisdom, current events, and humor.
In early September, two teenagers became trapped in a storm drain in Adelaide, Australia. They had a mobile phone with them. Instead of using it to call emergency services (000 in Australia), they used it to update their Facebook status. → source
Technology in the wrong hands is a dangerous tool. I will now pause while you make your own jokes.
And don’t even think about defending these girls. Yes, I know that it’s better for many to call emergency services rather than only one. I also understand that texting usually uses less battery power than a phone call. Finally, I am well aware that if the girls were kidnapped and couldn’t talk, a Facebook update may have been more appropriate.
I’m betting it was none of the above. Considering that girls generally mature earlier than boys, long-term prospect for humanity frightens me. We’ve all done stupid things, but come on!
On a related note, I’d love to become a fan of “teenage girls trapped in a storm drain for an eternity, OMG OMG”, but can’t find the fan page.
This reminds me of a Steven Wright joke:
The other day at Macy’s the power went out. Fifty people were stuck on the escalator for half an hour.
Either these two girls are absolute idiots or they are visionary geniuses. Only time will tell. But for now, there’s only one thing to say: use your !@#$%^&* phone!
That title ought to boost my traffic after a 4-month absence.
A wacky new thing is brewing in the UK. Unions and Podiatrists (now that’s a winning combination) are considering banning heels in the workplace. → source
Podiatrists state that wearing high heels can “cause blisters, corns, calluses, damaged joints, knee and back pain”. Gee, thanks for that penis-shrinking image. Also according to the article:
Some women argue that stiletto heels give them a power advantage in male-dominated workplaces because the shoes make them appear taller and enhance their sex appeal. Others consider the shoes demeaning and symbolic of the sexist subjugation of women and their health to satisfy male whims and fantasies.
I have news for those of you who think power and sex appeal come to women who wear high heels at work. It’s time to throw away your Snow White videos. You live in a fantasy world. The only men you gain power over are precisely the ones who see women as sexual objects in the first place. All you’re doing is fueling their fantasies. Duh!
I also have news for those of you who think heels subjugate and demean women. Wow, I applaud your misplaced sense of self-esteem! All those self-help, positive-affirmation books you’ve read have clearly given you a false sense of sexuality. It’s obvious that you think waaay too highly of yourselves. Trust me when I tell you that more than half of women in heels are not sexually appealing to males who do not use zit medication before being dropped of at High School. It’s time to get over yourselves.
Here’s another news flash. Why are high heels only about women? What about men? Have you ever thought about how wearing sexy heels may tease men? Aren’t you women, in a way, victimizing men? Think about it.
Why is there a debate? Why is wearing heels not the decision of each individual woman?
Heels or not, I personally don’t really care either way. I only have one request. Please refrain from wearing high heels with shorts under any and all circumstances. That’s not sexy in the least bit. Get a clue.
And as a parting gift, since I’ve alienated both men and women already, here’s a Yo Mamma joke:
Yo Mamma is so fat, she left the house in the morning in Stilettos and came back in the evening in sandals.
And no! That joke is not demeaning to women. It’s just a joke. If you disagree, then tell me how all the TV commercials depicting men as complete idiots and women as brains of humanity are not demeaning to men. See?!
How do you prevent Swine Flu from reaching Afghanistan? Simple! You quarantine the pig. Yes, the one and only single lonely pig in Kabul’s zoo. → source
Here’s my question. When parents play “this little piggy” with their children, how many little piggies do they count? There’s only one little piggy in the entire country, so I imagine it goes something like this:
This little piggy went to the market. The same little piggy went home. The same little piggy had roast beef. The same little piggy . . .
Imagine this. There is a guy from Pittsburg. He happens to be a Gynecologist. His name happens to be Dr. Bummer. He goes on The Price Is Right and bids $69 on something. And wins!
And now a story from the ‘marriage from hell’ hall of fame.
Twenty two year-old Alexei Roskov has a problem. In fact, it’s quite a nagging problem. You see, his wife nags him a lot. She nags him so much that Alexei decided to take matters into his own hands. One day, he downed 3 bottles of vodka, opened the kitchen window of their Moscow apartment, and hurled himself out. → source
Amazingly, he survived the 50 ft fall with not even a scratch on him! After staggering back upstairs, his wife called for an ambulance and promptly began to, you guessed it, nag and scold him. So Alexei did what any other rational husband would do. He jumped out of the very same window again.
Medics treated him for minor cuts and bruises.
In an interview, Alexei summed up the events this way:
“I have no idea why I jumped the first time but when I came back up and I heard my wife screaming angrily at me I thought it was best if I left the room again – out of the window.”
A ten year-old elephant acquired by a zoo in Poland is demonstrating a total lack of interest in female elephants. Ninio the elephant appears to be, dare I say, gay. → source
Some Polish lawmakers are not happy about this. Michal Grzes, a conservative politician angered over what he sees as a wasted investment, has said:
“We didn’t pay 37 million zlotys (7.6 million pounds) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there.”
“We were supposed to have a herd, but as Ninio prefers male friends over females how will he produce offspring?”
And I though being gay was a choice invented by sinful humans. Huh, go figure! Clearly, this elephant is a liberal flunky who has not learned to live with his disability. Eternal flames are awaiting him.
On a positive note, he will redecorate the zoo so nicely that all other animals in Poland would want to come and live in his zoo.
The zoo’s director has come to Ninio’s defense by arguing that at ten years-old, Ninio may be too young to decide his sexual orientation just yet.
In a related story, it appears that zoos in Iowa and Vermont have expressed interest in acquiring Ninio.
Kelley Coffman-Lee, a 38-year-old mother of three, loves tofu. She loves it so much that she wanted to let the whole world know. So logically she asked the DMV to approve a special vanity plate that reads “ILVTOFU”. → source
The BMV denied the request. It turns out that “FU” is on a long list of barred letter combinations.
Perhaps she loves both tofu and to fu!
Actually, I side with the BMV on this one. No one really loves tofu that much. Nice try Ms. Coffman-lee – if that’s your real name!
Posted by jmjorat 
That title ought to boost my traffic after a 4-month absence.
Posted by jmjorat 
Posted by jmjorat 
How do you prevent Swine Flu from reaching Afghanistan? Simple! You quarantine the pig. Yes, the one and only single lonely pig in Kabul’s zoo. → 
And now a story from the ‘marriage from hell’ hall of fame.
A ten year-old elephant acquired by a zoo in Poland is demonstrating a total lack of interest in female elephants. Ninio the elephant appears to be, dare I say, gay. → 
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